Dream Deep

METHOD #2: FLUSH ‘N FLUFF

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a ‘power wash and rinse’ which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,

The Dog

http://www.yuckles.com/catbath.htm

Thoughts on Cats

“Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.”
– Dave Platt

“There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.”
-Anonymous

“Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.”
– Anonymous

“In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.”
– English proverb

“As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.”
– Ellen Perry Berkeley

“Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are G-d.”

“One cat just leads to another.” – Ernest Hemingway

“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
– Mary Bly

“Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.”
– Joseph Wood Krutch

“People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.”
– Faith Resnick

“There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.”
– Anonymous

“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.”
– Hippolyte Taine

“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.”
– Albert Schweitzer

“The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.”
– Ernest Menaul

“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
– Colette

“No heaven will not ever Heaven be;
Unless my cats are there to welcome me.”
– Anonymous

“Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.”
– Missy Dizick

“You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.”
– Colonial American proverb

“Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.”
– Joseph Wood Krutch

“Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.”
– John S. Nichols

“Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will p**s on your computer.”
– Bruce Graham

“I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.”

A present from Alan Harris
alan harris